A friend & I took off one Sunday morning to visit a decades-old corpse. I missed Mao when I was in Beijing, so I felt that I really shouldn't miss this chance to “pay my respects” to dear 'ole Lenin.
We waited in an hour-long line for a brief look at the waxy figure. It was really quite creepy. The entire mausoleum is extremely dark, save the spotlights on Lenin's pasty face. We walked around a little dark corridor, lined with stone-faced guards, fumbled our way down a short staircase, turned a corner and – there he was. Lenin.
Actually, the whole experience was so other-worldly that my friend & I decided that Russia was missing out on a rich opportunity. After all, they are wasting a perfectly good opportunity for a Halloween-style FunHouse! Imagine: a tourist walks in the center room where everything is dark, save Lenin's figure. They step on a hidden tile, then – Bam! – up pops Lenin, hands out, eyes and mouth wide open! Ha, what fun that would be! Why, right now they let people visit for free. But for a show of that quality, I bet they could charge even $10 a person! Clearly, the Russians are missing out.
However, they choose to be incredibly serious about the mausoleum. In fact, tourists aren't even allowed to bring bags into the site; you have to check them near the entrance. Well, after the brief visit, all tourists are shoved back onto the Red Square, away from bag check building, which is cordoned off from the rest of the Square. Not seeing how to get to my bags again without stepping back into the original hour-long line to visit Lenin, I became quite worried. In my rush & concern, I stepped up to one of the guards, intending to ask about my backpack (“Moi Rucksack!”). Instead, I came across as passionately concerned about my pen (“Maya ruchka!”). Fortunately, the guard still got the idea and pointed me in the right direction. Oh, well! At least I got my bag back, right?
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