Three multi-course meals a day with snacks and coffee in-between, heaps of salmon, desserts that make your mouth water, incredible sauces poured generously over anything that looks too low-calorie....ah, cruise dining!* How can a girl help but gain at least a few pounds on one of these trips?
Well, I've discovered the secret: come down with gastroenteritis!! Why, after a mere day or so of throwing up in your stateroom, you won't even want to look at the menu! (The number of cases on our little ship would suggest that this is our fellow passengers' favored weight-loss program as well.)
Naturally, gastroenteritis does have its drawbacks. For one, you may miss some of the sites – but really only if you're unambitious. In my strong determination to see the incredible wooden 22-domed 18th Century church on the little island of Kizhi, I trekked out with the rest of the ship for the excursion. Admittedly, I did have to head back early and was, to my embarrassment, unable to reach the facilities in time on the return journey. So a lovely group of 30 or so tourists got to watch me heave up my lunch, with the beautiful Transfiguration Church in the background. But hey, at least I saw the church!
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*You may be thinking to yourself, “Wait, I thought you were going to study in Moscow – what's this about a cruise??” Yes, I was studying in Moscow. However, my mother will use any excuse to travel, my dad will follow my mother anywhere, and my brother has a tendency to tag along for the ride. So my parents & brother flew over to Russia to join me for a 13-day incredible river cruise from Moscow to St. Petersburg!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Lenin FunHouse & more Language Gaffes
A friend & I took off one Sunday morning to visit a decades-old corpse. I missed Mao when I was in Beijing, so I felt that I really shouldn't miss this chance to “pay my respects” to dear 'ole Lenin.
We waited in an hour-long line for a brief look at the waxy figure. It was really quite creepy. The entire mausoleum is extremely dark, save the spotlights on Lenin's pasty face. We walked around a little dark corridor, lined with stone-faced guards, fumbled our way down a short staircase, turned a corner and – there he was. Lenin.
Actually, the whole experience was so other-worldly that my friend & I decided that Russia was missing out on a rich opportunity. After all, they are wasting a perfectly good opportunity for a Halloween-style FunHouse! Imagine: a tourist walks in the center room where everything is dark, save Lenin's figure. They step on a hidden tile, then – Bam! – up pops Lenin, hands out, eyes and mouth wide open! Ha, what fun that would be! Why, right now they let people visit for free. But for a show of that quality, I bet they could charge even $10 a person! Clearly, the Russians are missing out.
However, they choose to be incredibly serious about the mausoleum. In fact, tourists aren't even allowed to bring bags into the site; you have to check them near the entrance. Well, after the brief visit, all tourists are shoved back onto the Red Square, away from bag check building, which is cordoned off from the rest of the Square. Not seeing how to get to my bags again without stepping back into the original hour-long line to visit Lenin, I became quite worried. In my rush & concern, I stepped up to one of the guards, intending to ask about my backpack (“Moi Rucksack!”). Instead, I came across as passionately concerned about my pen (“Maya ruchka!”). Fortunately, the guard still got the idea and pointed me in the right direction. Oh, well! At least I got my bag back, right?
We waited in an hour-long line for a brief look at the waxy figure. It was really quite creepy. The entire mausoleum is extremely dark, save the spotlights on Lenin's pasty face. We walked around a little dark corridor, lined with stone-faced guards, fumbled our way down a short staircase, turned a corner and – there he was. Lenin.
Actually, the whole experience was so other-worldly that my friend & I decided that Russia was missing out on a rich opportunity. After all, they are wasting a perfectly good opportunity for a Halloween-style FunHouse! Imagine: a tourist walks in the center room where everything is dark, save Lenin's figure. They step on a hidden tile, then – Bam! – up pops Lenin, hands out, eyes and mouth wide open! Ha, what fun that would be! Why, right now they let people visit for free. But for a show of that quality, I bet they could charge even $10 a person! Clearly, the Russians are missing out.
However, they choose to be incredibly serious about the mausoleum. In fact, tourists aren't even allowed to bring bags into the site; you have to check them near the entrance. Well, after the brief visit, all tourists are shoved back onto the Red Square, away from bag check building, which is cordoned off from the rest of the Square. Not seeing how to get to my bags again without stepping back into the original hour-long line to visit Lenin, I became quite worried. In my rush & concern, I stepped up to one of the guards, intending to ask about my backpack (“Moi Rucksack!”). Instead, I came across as passionately concerned about my pen (“Maya ruchka!”). Fortunately, the guard still got the idea and pointed me in the right direction. Oh, well! At least I got my bag back, right?
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